Friday, February 26, 2016
This recent headline caught my eye: “People Who Sleep Late Are Actually Smarter and More Creative”. Being an early riser I presumed someone just stayed up really late writing this drivel. For me it doesn’t feel right unless I've seen the sun rise first thing in the morning and greet Bob the Bunny from my home office window. It's also when I do some of my best stuff since the phone calls or now emails and texts don’t start coming in until people who sleep in wake up. A BBC article about this subject said: “Forget the old adage early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. It is more likely to make him stressed” and went on: “Not only that but getting up early is also more likely to lead to muscle aches, cold symptoms, headaches and significantly worse moods.” OK it explains my mood being short tempered the rest of the day but sure feel like I am on top of the world. Some of my favorite memories are taking cross country trips and reading the Burma Shave jingles planted at intervals along the side of the road. Here is one of the more memorable ones: The chick, He wed, Let out a whoop, Felt his chin and Flew the coop . . . . . . Burma Shave. The jingle to beat is the one we had to repeat over and over again in high school and was created for Lifebuoy shaving cream: “The wetter the lather, the better the shave.” Take that Burma Shave! Last week a Billings brewery reported 8 plastic muck tubs were stolen from behind their building. The owner said the tubs are used to hold spent grain after the wort has been extracted. He usually has the tubs picked up by a local man who feeds his hogs, cattle and goats. This time they have the persons responsible on video and security footage has already been shared on FaceBook 500 times. The BOLO alert adds to watch out for slightly inebriated cattle and goats but ass for the hogs there won’t be any change in their usual ruckus behavior. Want to take an extended vacation on a lush tropical Caribbean island at a well appointed resort? We have a library with thousand of books and DVDs to lull your idle time away. In addition you can watch satellite TV with over 300 stations to keep you up with the world of entertainment and news. A private soccer field is readily available to keep you in shape and we even give you time to say your prayers at least 5 times a day with an arrow conveniently pointed towards Mecca painted next to your prayer spot. G-Resorts International will keep you healthy with full medical and dental benefits included at no cost to our guests. If you have not guessed it so far I am talking about Guantanamo Bay Naval Base aka the Gitmo POW camp for terrorists located on the western side of Cuba. It will be empty by January 20, 2017 and available for occupation. Any takers?